Hello Mornings

I have still been involved with the accountability group for the Hello Mornings challenge, but the summer has looked much different than the rest of the year.  I have failed in almost every aspect of doing this challenge that you could.  When I struggled through sickness last winter, I lost my momentum and never really got it back.  My normal reaction to such failure is to quit.  I mean, if it isn’t working, why keep trying?  So why am I planning to keep going in the Fall?  Because it has still had a positive affect on my life.

I Read My Bible More

One “success” that I have definitely had through the encouragement of this group is time reading the Bible.  When I am in a routine, I find time to read the Bible easily.  I love to have those quiet times of reading and reflection.  I enjoy the mental stimulation of pulling apart each section of the reading to learn from it and I gain a sense of peace that seems to carry me throughout the day. There have been so many times in my life, though, that I just got overwhelmed with my day to day activities.  When that happens, I find myself putting out fires that I had not anticipated and important things like reading the Bible get left out…especially if I happen to be reading through the genealogies in the Old Testament.  Directly as a result of the other women posting their study thoughts each day, I was constantly reminded while on Facebook (a great time sucker!) to get back to what was important.  I got back into my Chronological Reading plan, stealing little moments of reading throughout the day.  I was actually reading more than the plan calls for each day.  At first, I was a little discouraged that I wasn’t getting any really cool insights.  Then one night I realized that since I had started reading the Bible consistently again I was thinking more clearly.  I was remembering teaching moments, prayers and song lyrics that had spoken to me over the previous months right when I needed to remember them.  I was choosing more wisely how to spend my time and I was more willing and able to take action on the unpleasant things that needed to be done without having to give myself a pep talk.  (Been there?)  As with the Bible in 90 Days challenge, when I read my Bible I was more open and receptive to hearing God’s voice. 

I Learn From the Group

I have been so encouraged by the others in the group as we all stumble through this together. It is very encouraging to know that everyone else has rough spots, too. We all fail. We all fall short of our goals for ourselves. But we are all learning things as we go. We are encouraging one another as we go. One person posted a song called “Holy Captivating” that was particularly touching for her one day, and I had never really heard anything by the artist – Nicole C. Mullen. Not only have I played that song countless times since hearing it that day, but my daughter has decided another of Mullen’s songs is her favorite, too.  It is really encouraging to hear your 7 year old singing, “When I call on Jesus all things are possible!” at the top of her lungs.

God’s Voice is More Clear

Even when I don’t get up on time, exercise or have a long quiet time in the morning, I have still had a focus on reading the Bible and praying throughout the day. One of the times I was praying at the end of the last session, a line from the song above ran through my head.

“I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself.  I could choose not to move, but I refuse.” 

The song is actually referring to reaching out to lost and hurting people, but that day it convicted me about my life at home. I can’t tell you how many times I have refused to do something at home because I thought it was someone else’s job. I don’t think it was always a conscious decision, but as a direct result of hearing this song I was convicted that I was sitting around and waiting for someone else to do the hard jobs.  I got motivated and cleaned out a cooler in June that had been sitting around for months! It is amazing the freedom that comes when you just get done that thing that has been bugging you. It also is amazing the kind of momentum that gets going when you refuse to “just sit around and wait for someone else.”  Not only did I get moving, but Ryan did, too.  We have had an amazingly productive summer – getting things done that have been on our “to do” list for years.

The other example of how reading the Bible has made me more “in tune” with God was a time when God brought to my memory a quote from a seminar.  I had attended a Homeschool Convention in May that included some classes by Kirk Martin of Calm Christian Parenting.  He had some really good insights.  One morning, as the children decided to all have meltdowns while I was in the shower and could not “control” them, I was reminded of a quote from Martin.  “You can only control one person and that is yourself.”  What perfect timing!  I could have gotten upset, and gone in there with an angry outburst of my own, but God was giving me time to step back and be the peacemaker instead of escalating the situation with my own anger.  (This is something we have been working on with the kids.  I will ask them, “Are you being a peacemaker, or are you escalating the situation and making it worse?”)  I am so grateful that He helped me to see a time that I was about to make things worse!

As for my “failure,” I think another line from a Josh Wilson song sums it up quite nicely.  “How can I come to the end of me and somehow still have all I need.”  God is everything I need for life.  If I focus on Him, everything else always falls into place.

So, I am excited to start the Fall session of Hello Mornings.  Not because I have grand visions of being "successful" in meeting all my goals this time, or of conquering all my shortcomings from the past, but because I know I will be changed through the focus on prayer and Bible reading and the mutual encouragement that comes from being accountable to others.  If I am able to accomplish my goals, I will take that, too!

Hello Mornings - Messy Middle

I think I have referred to the "Messy Middle" before.  It is a term I first heard from Donna Otto at Homemaker's By Choice.  She described how she likes to start something new - it is fun and you are full of anticipation.  She also likes to finish something - it brings the sense of accomplishment that you have achieved something.  But, the phase of hard work in between the starting and the finishing is the "messy middle."  It is that place where things are not so fun or exciting, that place of monotony and challenge that you have to work through if you are to reach that place of finishing strong.

This is exactly where I have found myself in the Hello Mornings challenge.  I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person.  So when I jumped into this challenge, I did so with complete abandon.  I was surprised how good it felt to be getting up in the morning, reading my Bible and exercising. When I faced the kids in the morning, it was with a cheerful attitude - even if they interrupted me or were misbehaving.  The afternoons were not so pretty, as I was exhausted from poor discipline in the evenings.  I was still staying up way too late.  Still, I felt I was succeeding. 

Then, my knees started hurting from the morning exercise...

Then, I gave myself the weekend to recover from my late nights and lack of discipline... 

Then, I got sick...

The days I made myself push through and get up, I ended up feeling ill the whole day - dizziness, headaches, nausea.  So, I let myself have a break; but I felt like a failure.  I did not give up on the idea, and still have not.  But my momentum is gone.  I am starting over.  Only this time, I am missing that sense of starting something new, and instead have the discouragement from my failure to perform.  This has been really difficult for me, and yet I am so thankful I "failed." 

Why?  Well, if this is going to be a long term change, I will fail.  I will have times when I cannot find the strength to do what I know I want to do.  And during these last few weeks, I have received so many encouragements from unrelated sources that show me that I can survive the low periods and NOT GIVE UP.  That is the only thing that can  stop this positive change God wants to perform in my life - if I give in to the voice of the accuser (did you know that is what Satan means?) telling me, "You failed.  It is over."

Here's the thing.  God hasn't given up cheering for me from the sidelines.  He is still there supporting me.  And He doesn't care if I win or lose this "game".  If I "fail" at this Hello Mornings Challenge, He still wants me to try.  What he cares about is how I play.  If it were just my efforts that mattered I may win the game, I may lose it, but the Hello Mornings Challenge is not what matters.  The character that God wants to work in my life is what matters.  Jesus paid the price for my life.  I will NEVER perform well enough or consistently enough to win every challenge.  I will NEVER be righteous enough to make it into heaven on my own merit.  I need Jesus to play the game for me.  That doesn't mean that I just don't try anymore - it means that I try my best and allow Him to pick me up when I fall.  That is hard for me.  I want to do it on my own.  I want to perfect my game and succeed on my own terms.  If I could do that, though, I would not need Him. I don't ever want to get to the place where I believe that I don't need Him.  I want to get to the place where I am absolutely dependent on Him.  For that reason, I am so glad I failed.  So glad that He has continued to encourage me when He knows I would rather quit and accept defeat.

There are also reasons that I hate that I failed, so I will talk about those next time.  But I will leave this time with one of the encouraging words I read that came from a discussion about budgeting, of all things. 

"Victory Over the Lack of Discipline

  Discipline and self-control must be applied one day at a time.  If you can establish one daily discipline and stick with it for three weeks, you will form a new habit that will lead to the ability to become more disciplined in every area of your life.
  A spiritual battle will be waged to keep you from believing that you can be disciplined.  The Enemy wants to rob you of the fruit of the Holy Spirit and cause you to constantly feel defeated when it comes to areas of weakness.  Make this a matter of daily prayer, asking God to help you live one day at a time, to give you self-control and perseverance.
  Like any endeavor, you may experience discouraging setbacks, frustrations or obstacles.  That is when you must not give in to the temptation to quit.  It will be far more encouraging at the end of the year if it simply takes you longer or a few more attempts to achieve your goals than if you had quit early on."

Chuck Bentley, Crown Do Well Magazine, Volume 2, Issue 1, article Stay the Course, italics added.

Hello Mornings - A Month In

There is one song that I did not include in my last update about this challenge. I am glad, though.  The experiences that I have had over the last few weeks have confirmed some of the things that this song made me realize about this challenge. Here is the update I posted on the day I listened to this song:

My favorite Song today:

Definition of Me - Steven Curtis Chapman
(The link above goes to a video, though I don't like the version.  The link I included at the time on Facebook was much better, but has been removed from YouTube.)

"Here come those little thoughts
of all I ought to be but I'm not
I try talking to myself
but I'm still not convinced
I'm good, I'm bad, I'm everything in between
I'm this, I'm that, but really God we both know

It is Your love that defines me
and Your love that reminds me
it's not what I do"

When I was listening to this, I knew it was "Your love that reminds me," but I kept hearing it, "Your love that REFINES me, it's not what I do."

This whole process is a refinement, and it was such a comfort to realize that it is not MY EFFORTS that are refining me, but the power of JESUS and the HOLY SPIRIT'S work in my life that are making any change possible.

I have come to the realization that I can, by sheer willpower, make changes in my everyday schedule. The real reason I am doing this, though, is not just to have more order in my life, but to put Jesus first. I want to look at Him, my husband and my children as being more important than myself. The reason I thought, "I don't want to live like this" in the past was not just because I was tired but because I was spiritually weary. I was not receiving strength from my times with God and therefore was walking through life on my strength alone. It takes it's toll on my patience, on my level of self-discipline, on my energy - every area of my life. Kat, from Inspired to Action where the Hello Mornings Challenge originated, visited our Facebook group and posted something that worded it perfectly for me.

"But this isn't about trying harder, really. This is simply about putting ourselves in a position to hear Him and receive His grace to be the best moms we can be." 

Amen!

Here are some thoughts I have jotted down at random times over the last few weeks:

John 15:5 - "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

This verse confirmed to me my feelings on willpower. Yes, I can power through this challenge; but it will not change my heart. If I remain in Christ, not only will my schedule change, but I will change. The week after I heard this verse at church, my Pastor said something like this, "Happy thoughts will not help you...they may get you through the moment, but they won't change you.  But hope - that changes us." My hope is not just for my mornings, it is that I will be transformed by the power of God into someone who is more like Jesus.  My hope is that when I step into Heaven, I will really have done everything I can to hear the words, "Well done my good and faithful servant."

2 Peter 1:5-9 - "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins."

 I need to "make every effort" to make the changes that I feel God is asking me to, so there is discipline involved. I want this to be a life change, but that doesn't mean I just want to get up at 6am for the rest of my life.  I want the commitment of obedience to Christ to be my life change.

As I was considering these areas of change , I ran across an article about an amazing story about an Olympic athlete. I was impressed and wanted to learn more about him personally. It was very sad for me to learn that this person's marriage had ended because of their infidelity.  Why is it that people of such strong discipline in some areas - physical, professional, etc - can be so very lacking in the disciplines of character?  I think it is because we can have self discipline without relying on God to change us from the inside out.  I want Him to change my character, my values, my heart - until I want what He wants.  This journey, for me, began long before I can remember and it will continue probably for the rest of my life.

Philippians 1:6 "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

I am still impatient with my kids.  I am still not getting enough rest.  I am still not so great at getting up.  I worry about facing the times I am sick or I am traveling.  Will I even have the desire to obey at those times?  I don't know.  What I do know is that He has begun a good work in my life, and I trust Him to finish it.

Hello, Mornings!

So, I've started it - the Hello Mornings Challenge. I know that it may come as a shock to those of you who don't know me, but I usually get up late every morning. Yep, my dear husband has been the one who gets up and takes the kids every morning while I sleep in. I only have to get up when he leaves for work, or his home office. I have been spoiled.

Ryan and I have always agreed that I would take any child-related duties until about 4am, He would take them between 4am and 7am. He ended up feeding them breakfast because he was used to eating early. As the kids got older, we started having late night/early morning visitors who knew Mom would have mercy on them and let them get into the bed. I didn't get much peace until they went to eat with Dad. It got to the point where I would wait until he was feeding them to actually sleep peacefully for an hour or more. I was sleeping way too late, and waking up to crazy activity that I was too groggy to deal with. I have been trying to change this for a long time, but I was not having any success. I thought, "When I train myself to go to bed earlier, then I will get up early." or "I will set my alarm for a half hour earlier and try to work my way back." I also wasn't sure what to do when I got up. I wanted to use the time to read my Bible, but sitting on the couch quietly was guaranteed to put me back to sleep. A nice hot shower was out of the question, as well. I wanted to be exercising more, eating right, planning my days, doing cleaning projects...the list was endless. What was I going to implement as my daily routine?

Enter the Hello Mornings challenge from Kat at Inspired to Action, and my good friend Jen. Jen told me months ago about how good the challenge had been for her, and suggested I check out the website. I loved the idea of "waking up FOR your children, not TO your children." Waking up FOR your children means being ready for them when they get up, waking up TO your children was the crazy activity I was already experiencing. I looked forward to finding information that would help me do that, but never did check it out. A few weeks ago, Jen invited me to do the challenge with her and I immediately agreed. I was added to a Facebook group for the purpose of accountability.

I was not optimistic about my ability to get up early, so I wanted to try this out before the challenge started so that I would have a head start. I set my alarm for 6:30 and planned to make the change! I had heard someone talking about their prayer times while walking/exercising and I thought, "Of course! Do quiet time while exercising!" So, I even knew what I would do when I got up. The first day? FAIL. There was a child in the bed when I woke up and I rushed to turn off the alarm so they would not wake up. Second day? FAIL. Two children in the bed when I awoke. I took a break for the weekend and decided to try again Monday.

Sunday night I asked Ryan if he thought I would beat the kid traffic if I set the alarm for 6:00 instead. I decided to try it. First day? SUCCESS. Wow. I was surprised. Second day? Stayed up too late the night before and still, SUCCESS. Third day, stayed up too late again and still, SUCCESS. I knew that exercise upon waking was going to be important, but who knew that setting the alarm earlier than I thought I could get up would end up being good for me? Yes, it is only day six, and only 6 am. But I have not missed a day yet. The peace and encouragement I have felt are worth it, the accountability is motivating, and the duration of the challenge is long enough to help this be a lasting good habit. Who knows, maybe I will

I thought I would end with some of the thoughts and songs I have shared with my accountability group. I hope you find some encouragement for whatever YOU are working on in your life, too.


Facebook Updates:

Day 1 - I am on the treadmill right now...I am shocked. Gonna do some Bible reading now. =0)
Day 3 - I can remember thinking over the last year, late at night when I finally got to bed, "I don't want my life to be like this!" I never got up early enough in the morning, never exercised, and wasn't eating right. Since the first, I have been keeping track of what I eat and have noticed a difference in how I feel. Then, this morning, I was getting ready to get on the treadmill and I thought, "Some people live like this. They do this every day!" It was so peaceful to wake up in the morning and I thought, "I want my life to be like this." I will have to remember this over the next few months, because I know this challenge will be harder for me as time goes on.
Day 5 - I was reading the Hello Mornings ebook yesterday, and I am glad I did. If I had not read the lines, "Get out of bed...Tell yourself that's all you have to do," I don't think I would have made it today.

Songs that spoke to me this week, along with some lyrics from them:

This is Your Life, by Out of Eden

"This is your life God knows what it's meant to be
Know you've got a destiny; time is now so won't you see
This is your life no more waiting to begin
Have some faith and know you'll win...

Put on your best foot and step forward
Knowing that God will see you through
So when you get tired and you feel a little faint
Know somebody's watching you and will help you on your way."

Strong Enough, by Matthew West

"I know that I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be....Lord right now I'm asking you to be strong enough...for both of us"

One Heartbeat at a Time, by Steven Curtis Chapman  (If you're a Mom, just listen to the whole thing!)