Energy

One night last week, as I was finishing up putting the kids to bed, I looked around the house...Ugh! There was still so much to do! I thought, "I can't do it tonight! I just don't have the energy." I figured I would catch up on my work "tomorrow." All of a sudden, I had this thought, "Who said I had to have energy to do this? It may take me longer, but I can still do it." It was like a strange, and unwanted, revelation. However, I realized that I had been shirking my responsibilities all too often because I just "didn't have the energy." I decided to get to work. Yes, it did take me longer, but that is okay. The reality is, there probably would never have been a time that I was energetic and happy to do the work that needed to be done. Work is just that...WORK. You can't just call in to your career job and say, "Well, you know...I am just not feelin' it today. I'll be back in tomorrow, though, for payday..."

It is times like this that I start to feel like it really does matter what you are watching, reading and listening to. What was I reading at the time? "In the Presence of My Enemies" by Gracia Burnham and "Missionary Stories with the Millers" by M. Martin. These stories are full of TRULY harrowing situations that people lived in. The Burnhams were on the verge of starvation, yet they still had to run through jungles and climb mountains in the bush. In one of the missionary stories, a mother had to leave her two young daughters in a field on a pitch black night with jaguars prowling around so that she could run blindly in the dark trying to find help. She was exhausted, too. Was she going to leave that undone? Boy did that put my situation in a more adequate light!

What if I had been reading one of the "Mothers need 'me time'" articles? I can guarantee you I would not have finished the work that night. =0) There would have been something missing, though - I would not have felt any sense of accomplishment. I would have gotten up the next morning with more to do. Because I was able to plow through and get it done, I actually had that sense of accomplishment and an opportunity to get ahead the next day.

Do I think moms need "me time"? Yes, I do. However, I think we have to be careful how much indulgence we allow ourselves for that. If we let ourselves think that too much, we will tire ourselves out MORE. Think about it, when you have been lazy with your body, what do you need to do to get more energy? Work out! By not working your muscles enough, you have made yourself more tired. Doesn't it work the same way with responsibilities...or any other thing that requires discipline? The more we do what we should, the easier it gets to do it. The less we do what we should, the harder it gets and the less we want to do it.

Since I had this little thought, I have been trying to do my responsibilities more often...tired or not. I don't always do it...it is so much easier to go online and "work" on things here. However, I am finding that when I do the other work first, there is always time to get my computer time in, or read that book or blog. Not so true the other way around. Another thing I read recently, that I believe encouraged me in this area was a blog entry on Discipline by Amy at RaisingArrows.net. She describes on that post her own convictions about her late morning routines. That blog post described me perfectly. I think my mornings might be the next thing on the "learning discipline" roster! Hopefully, I will be able to get to a point where it no longer feels like work, but just feels like the routine.